Bruising Again
by tainteddaisy
Summary: It was in her very fingertips. when she realised of what she had, he snatched it away from her forever. A/U.


**a/n: **this is a_ rather _AU of what happened in the episode "Spilt Milk". I just finished season two three days ago, and this unlikely and weird idea kept popping in my head. so yeah, why not give it a shot!

CAUTION: for the sake of this story, I'd like to inform you the following things:

1. Oliver is not dead in this story.

2. yes, he chained her and all that nasty stuff but he DIDN'T KILL Wendy and Lana was his first victim.

3. Wendy was somewhere over the colourless rainbow where she swallowing the guilt for signing the hospital admission. she'd most likely still be a teacher though.

4. if you're just going to hate me and this story because of the three things above, i suggest you to just close the tab right now. i mean, it'd be painful to read something that you don't want. OK?

and to those who want to read it, i apologise for this long ass author note. but i do hope you like this one shot. and let me know what you think. :) :)

* * *

><p>"Lana… Lana?"<p>

A nurse and a sound of a wailing baby woke her up from the slumber. Lana gasped, surprised to see what or rather who the nurse was holding.

"What are you doing? I asked not to see him. Where's Dr. Thredson?" she asked in panic.

"Dr. Thredson is away, and the baby won't stop crying even for a minute. He's allergic to formula, and I thought maybe if he could suckle a bit, it'd stop his crying," the nurse said in plea while gently bouncing the child.

"I'm giving him away, that is not becoming of my problem." She added, rather coldly.

The nurse seemed hopeless. She kept bouncing the infant, trying to calm him down to no avail. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking it'd worth a try." She said before started to walk outside the room, leaving Lana alone as she was ordered.

Lana thought that statement would finally calm her but oddly enough, hearing the painful wailing of the only few-hours-old infant made her uneasy and rather guilty. Supposed she thought it was just the woman instinct in her doing it, but before it was too late, she called the nurse back.

"Give him here,"

The rather surprised nurse walked toward the hospital bed. She then carefully placed the tiny child into his mother's arms. By the time the baby boy was placed in her arms, Lana knew something changed within her, something was shifted but she didn't know what it was or rather, she didn't want to know what it was.

She snapped open the buttons of her hospital gown and lowered it a little to the side. Slowly and unsurely she guided the baby's head to her breast. As she felt the baby started to suckle, the crying stopped immediately. She felt this overwhelming feelings that she didn't sure know what to name.

"Is it alright, if I leave you two for a bit while? I just have some things to do, I promise I will be back shortly." The nurse spoke.

"Of course." She replied faintly, didn't really pay attention to what the nurse just said.

As the nurse left the room, it was just the two of them now—mother and son. Lana finally looked down at the baby after battling with herself not to do it. She expected to feel hatred or shameful but instead she found herself longing to caress those rosy plump cheeks, and tracing a finger along his thin eyebrows and ears.

She braced herself as she touched the baby's little hand, she counted each little fingers he had until he suddenly wrapped his tiny fingers around hers. Her heart stopped for a second, her gaze froze to her index finger that was tightly wrapped around her son's_. _

_Her son_.

She had a son.

The thought just flooded her with emotions she didn't know how to handle. She felt like crying, and the tears were pricking behind her eyes already. The baby stopped suckle, he then disengaged his mouth slowly. Lana covered up herself back and looked upon her son's face.

He stared at her.

The baby stared at her with his big blue eyes that all newborns had. He gave his mother this curious look and yawn softly, making Lana smiled despite the uncertainty feelings. It was a little smile, but it was there. Lana didn't realize that she'd been holding onto his little fingers and caressing them. The baby seemed unfazed of what she felt, his eyes started to drop as he snuggled closer to her chest. Lana held him and looked into his now closed eyes once again. She could not hold the tears from falling any longer, her lips

were trembling as she whispered lowly to the infant.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry."

She kissed his red cheeks, and the baby scrunched his face in his sleep. Lana didn't know what it was that made her feel this way, but she suddenly got the urge to protect him from any harms that could possible happened to the child.

"Lana, what are you doing?"

A deep voice woke her up from her reverie. She instantly wiped away her tears and composed herself.

"A nurse brought him in, he's allergic to formula and he wouldn't stop crying." She said in an impassive tone.

"So you were feeding him?" Oliver asked incisively.

Lana didn't say anything she just kept look down at the infant. Oliver knew she wouldn't hurt the child, she couldn't even if she wanted to. But he noticed the way she held him rather tightly and protectively for a mother, who without a second thought wanted to give her baby away. Oliver studied her face carefully while she still wouldn't look at him but he found that her hand was still holding the tiny hand instead.

"Give him here," he said, gesturing his open arms to her.

Lana was suddenly anxious. She knew she supposed to let go of the baby and handed him to Oliver but instead, she found herself only hugging the infant closer.

"Lana," Oliver said in a warning tone.

She looked down at the baby one last time, fighting the tears to keep at bay and reluctantly placing over the newborn into his arms. Oliver saw the longing and lost in her eyes. He didn't quite understand why she suddenly acted this way while just hours ago she claimed she didn't want to see her own son.

He bounced the baby gently in his arms, admiring the features he had inherited from both of his parents. The same smile grazed on his face, the one just like Lana's but much much brighter. He had a son. He wouldn't be alone anymore.

"I changed my mind." The voice startled him, or more the words did.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me Oliver, I changed my mind." Lana finally looked up right into his eyes.

Oliver didn't know what to react, should he be happy? Or afraid. He took few steps backward from the bed she rested on. He looked down at their baby in his arms and shook his head in disagreement, for he knew of what to come.

"No. I will not let you do that. Do you think this is a game? You've spent 9 months despising him and need I remind you to your attempt to abort him?! and now after a few minutes of holding him you change your mind?" he hissed, trying to keep his voice low.

"I know what I did!" Defensed Lana.

"No you don't." he took another steps back, "You wanted to take him away from me, you wanted a revenge."

"Oliver, I don't want to take him away from you as much as I'd like to do that," her chest heaved from her anxious. She didn't want to cry but her eyelids and chest started to hurt. "I just want to be in his life too…"

Oliver scoffed in mocking.

"So you can be what? his mother? You. Despise. Him. You wanted to abandon him!"

"You violated me! You were hurting me, how am I supposed to react to the irony that I was pregnant with the child of a man who's been hurting me?!"

"I told you I didn't want to hurt you."

"You did hurt me." She paused, "And I was afraid that if I looked into his eyes, I'd be reminded of you. Of all the horrible things that happened to me, of what Wendy had left me with nothing! I was afraid!"

"And did he?" He asked, despite already knowing of what her answer would be.

She shook her head without looking at him. "No, he didn't."

Lana couldn't hold it any longer, she was overwhelmed of what she felt toward the child and now she was afraid that Oliver would take him away from her forever. A sob escaped her lips of the thought of losing her son forever, and never seeing he grew up. And the guilt—the guilt of wanting to terminate the child was eating her alive.

From just a few feet away, Oliver watched her. He never saw her this scared, not even when he chained her in that basement of his.

"No, I can't do that Lana,"

"Oliver, please..." she tried to get up from the hospital bed.

"I can't. You betrayed me!" the child in his arms started to whimper from the rise of his voice.

"I'm sorry! Just please don't take him away,"

"You were going to abandon him."

"Please no, please…" She desperately trying to walk toward him, wincing in every step she took for the aftermath of labor pain she was having just few hours ago.

"Don't come any closer." His tone was cold, sending chill down her spine.

"Please…" her cries pained him she knew. "I'm his mother. He's _my baby_ too as much as he is yours,"

Oliver watched her from few feet away from him. Her heart-wrenching cries tugged his heart but he just couldn't trust her again.

"No Lana, I can't."

He shook his head before glancing at her one last time. Oliver then went out of the room and left.

She broke down. Crying without a sound.

The pain in her heart felt thousand times worse than any pain she'd ever endured, as the cruelest reality hit her.

She'd lost her son.


End file.
